


Life Conquering Skills

by WriterofGotham



Series: Life Advise [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Gotham City Sirens (Comics), Harley Quinn (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types, Justice League of America (Comics)
Genre: Crack, Gen, More tags to be added, Slow To Update, Villains, advise, being a adult, friends - Freeform, haha - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-02-27 08:31:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13244457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterofGotham/pseuds/WriterofGotham
Summary: Batman Rouges have heard about the Batfamily writing advise for young adults, so they try their hand at it.





	1. Edward Nygma

Edward Nygma's advise to anyone with a brain.

1.Don't be afraid of intelligence use it to your advantage. Knowledge is power in the right hands.

2\. Friends will stab you in the back, and take everything you've worked for. Be careful who you choose to get to know you. 

3\. Study hard nothing you learn is useless. Nothing.

4\. Don't try to be a different person just for to make friends. It never works no matter how much you try to fit in. 

5\. Learn riddles to lord over people how smart you are, and how dumb they are. 

6\. Find a color and symbol you love and make your own clothes that reflect your wardrobe change. Green and question marks is a superior choice.

7\. Find someone who can keep up with your mental prowess, and fight with them constantly. Never kill them just... barely let them walk out alive so you can fight another day.

8\. Never disclose everything you know.

9.

10.


	2. Talia's Advise

Talia Ah Ghul's advise to those who saw the pathetic advise the brats of my beloved wrote.

1\. The best way to avoid mutiny from those beneath you are, by developing a loyalty or die attitude and enforce it.

2\. Children can be... trying. If you don't succeed the first time clone him/her and try it again. DNA is complex and easily enough manipulated.

3\. Be careful who you fall in love with. They may be tall dark and handsome, but they could have terrible habits, that would completely wreck you're way of living. Have children with them and don't tell them until they are old enough to infiltrate their compound and spy for you. 

4\. Rely on your family, until they ultimately betray you then disown them in shame that you even share the same genetics.

5\. Study many languages to be aware of what is going on all around you. World politics are dull, but you live in the world be aware of what is going on around you and form your own opinions from different sources. 

6\. If your beloved happens to do something you don't like, stabbing him/her in the back is acceptable if it's fair combat conditions.

7\. Find something that relaxes you, martial arts, or another suitable form of working out aggression.

8\. Children need to be trained from a young age. Evil child armies will rule the world one day. 

9\. Be prepared for anything people will ruin all your plans if you have any cracks in them.

10\. Peace is the end goal. Until then never let your guard down, and never, never stop fighting.


	3. Harley Quinn

My Advise for those lucky people starting out there adult lives, by none other than Dr. Quinzel, or just Harley!

1\. Go to college that way when people say your crazy they, can't say your dumb!

2\. Dye your hair! 

3\. Wear whatever you want, the fashion police aren't real! Black, red, thrift store clothes, circus costumes, or shorts whatever makes you happy! Accessories like baseball bats and mallets are optional, but recommended.

4\. Make friends! I love my girlfriends even if Selena sold out and is marrying a rich guy, she's still my bestie. Pam always has my back, we have the best adventures together. (We killed some guys by accident once.) 

5\. Love is real and wonderful. Mr. J. loves me, but there's no shame in leaving an abusive relationship. It isn't easy, but it is satisfying. Never let anyone treat you less than what you worth.

6\. You can be on different sides of an issue and still be friends with someone. Justice/ Injustice for example.

7\. You're a lot stronger than you think. You are literally capable of anything you want.

8\. Change isn't the end of the world. You change all the time and don't even notice it.

9\. It's alright to be damaged, surviving what hurt you is an accomplishment in itself. 

10\. Love yourself even when it's hard.


	4. Ra's Ah Ghul

My advise to those with plans of world denomination by Ra's Ah Ghul, the Demon's Head. 

1\. Disparaging is the fastest way to let you enemy triumph over you.

2\. Find a someone to be your protege or if you are young be someone's protege so you may learn all you can from them. It's normal to focus on one person and stalk them for their own good. If they don't see your good intentions do not give up, even if it cost your empire. 

3\. Will is everything. Know you can accomplish something and do it.

4\. Work hard at everything you do. Never stop working on something unless you are proud of it. 

5\. Mercy is rare and not everyone will willingly dole it out to you, remember that when you speak to others. Never say anything that will have consequences you aren't prepared for. 

6\. It means little how much you train or learn; if you do nothing with it.

7\. Listen to what people say let them ground you, but never let them limit your ambitions.

8\. Inspire loyalty from your followers, by any means necessary. 

9\. People limit themselves when they could be truly great; do not make the same mistake with your life.

10\. Make people around you respect you. Have confidence in your voice and walk. Don't cower when others talk to you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave your thoughts in the comments!


	5. Mr. Freeze

Mr. Freeze's advise 

1\. It doesn't matter how much you learn, it never is enough. 

2\. Love is strange it will make you do the worst things for the best reasons. 

3\. People won't understand the depths of your love until you do something drastic. 

4\. Revenge is best served cold.

5\. Never be afraid of having big plans and ideas. 

6\. Always protect those you love. 

7\. You can do the right thing all of your life, but you never truly have any control over your life. 

8\. Just because something is dangerous doesn't mean it isn't worth going after.

9.The choices you make will always have consequences.

10\. Treasure those that you love you can never have that time with them back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to LostUnderTheSurface for suggesting Mr. Freeze!
> 
> Scarecrow and Penguin next. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are treasured by me!


	6. Scarecrow

Scarecrow's advise 

1\. Fear is powerful, but it's up to you if you let it control your life.

2\. Know what scares you and avoid it. 

3\. Don't let people tell you that you can't wear rags. 

4\. Love is the opposite of fear. Friends can help you through anything. 

5\. If you act creepy enough you won't be bothered by people.

6\. Never give up, no matter how many times your plans get derailed or you get stopped.

7\. Looks are important people will judge you on it. Project how you want to be treated. 

8\. Knowledge is important, it's something that can never be taken from you.

9\. The mind is more powerful than the body. 

10\. Your mind can be the worst place to be, watch what you put in it.


	7. Oswald Cobblepot

Oswald Cobblepot's advice

1\. You'll never be on top if you give up now.

2\. Umbrellas are useful in many different ways, always carry them around with you.

3\. Don't say anything unless it really puts someone in there place, practice this till perfection.

4\. Mother's are special. Treasure your mother.

5\. Make friends with all kinds of people this will be useful later. Friends in the 'light and the dark', so you might say.

6\. Never be sorry for what you did, only that you were caught.

7\. Let people underestimate you. Appear weak, when you are truly strong.

8\. Know what your enemy loves, and slowly take it away from it them. Watch them suffer as they made you suffer.

9\. Yelling when things don't go your way is acceptable.

10\. Have goals in mind and never let anyone deter you from them.


	8. The Joker

Joker's Advice to those who are reading this. You really need help if you're reading my advice, but doesn't everybody?

1\. Monster's aren't born their made.

2\. Find something your the best at, and never do it for free. You're worth more than that, after all.

3\. Do things for no reason people drive themselves crazy trying to see any sense in your actions.

4\. People are only as good as they let themselves be, this applies to you too.

5\. Cut yourself off from everyone, that way when something happens to them you don't get hurt.

6\. There is someone out there that will make your crazy seem normal.

7\. You don't have to have a reason to do anything. Do it for kicks and giggles!

8\. Don't be overly serious, geez, some people are can't do anything without a frown. I'm sure you know who I'm talking about: tall, dark and...batty.

9\. Be the kind of person who accepts the truth despite the all the beautiful lies that would be easier to live with.

10\. Smile!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gave me a lot to think about because there are so many different ways of doing the Joker: Clown, Gangster, Mass Murder, Trickster, etc. I imagine him saying this like Heath Ledger's Joker.
> 
> I took my own advice in the Harley Quin chapter and dyed my hair red. I love it.


	9. Poison Ivy

1\. If a man doesn't treat you right, kick him out of your life immediately. If you are driving across a bridge and he's with you throw him off the bridge. Get away from him!

2\. People are dangerous, be careful of who you trust.

3\. Know the difference between love and lust. I can make men do anything for me, but they don't love me. They lust after me.

4\. Go to college get a good education. Be able to independently take care of yourself. Have a job that you would never need a man's help supporting you. 

5\. Have at least one close friend, even if they drive you crazy. 

6\. Weird people make life interesting, remember this when you feel like you don't fit in. Trust me, I have green skin and my best friends wear skin-tight leather and carry a baseball pat around.

7\. Good men are hard to find, not impossible but almost. Do not let douche bags prune and cut at you until you aren't even you anymore.

8\. Plants are friends, not food.

9\. There are so many worse things than being lonely.

10\. Don't let anyone ever tell you that the world is terrible when parts of it are so wonderful. The trees, grass, flowers, and even weeds can be beautiful, nature needs to be protected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Dad told me the first one, I copied it with his permission. It just seemed like a line that Poison Ivy would tell Harley Quinn.
> 
> I don't care if you are straight, bi, gay, lesbian, or any other sexual orientation, get out of any relationship with someone who doesn't treasure/love you.


	10. Catwoman

Catwoman's advice.

I don't even know if I belong as a villain or the anti-hero category. Hero is a title I don't think I should wear just yet, even if I am marrying the Batman I am still my own person.

1\. You are allowed to change your mind as much as you want. If you don't like where you are going, or who you are becoming you can always change to be someone that you like. Don't let the fear of what people will say about you from doing something you'll love.

2\. Love does exist, but you have to wait for the right person. Even if he is stupid and beats around the bush for what feels like 78 years.

3\. Whips come in handy.

4\. You can never have too many cats, they, along with diamonds are a girl's best friend.

5\. Don't just assume that all people are simple. Everyone has a mask they wear, even if they don't realize it.

6\. If you show a man what he expects to see he won't bother to look past the surface. This can be used to your advantage if you try hard enough.

7\. Men will let you get away with anything if you seem weak and helpless.

8\. Don't judge someone unless you have lived their life.

9\. Learn to run in heels, it is a skill that will serve you well when mastered.

10\. Do crazy things that aren't 'normal' taking risks will not always pay off, but it will be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can run in heels. It started out as a challenge and I was to stubborn to let go of. I meant to keep writing in this series, but life and college caught up with me.


	11. Bane

Bane

1\. Darkness shouldn't be feared as long as you belong in it.

2\. No one will notice if you stay normal, it's when you become something different that people will start to notice.

3\. Pain will either cripple you or make you stronger.

4\. Break the spirit and body of people who get in your way.

5\. Revenge is petty but ultimately fulfilling.

6\. Use large words and eloquent speech to convey what you have to say so people will believe you to be smarter than you first appear.

7\. Do things for yourself, if you want something done don't wait for someone else to do it for you.

8\. Take responsibility for your failures and successes. Failures mean nothing if you do not remember what it taught you.

9\. The world is rarely as black and white as people believe; good people are capable of terrible things, just as evil people are capable of good things.

10\. Plans are the blueprint for success. Start making plans now even if they aren't good you will be able to form an idea of what you want in your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have Catwoman's advice up soon. 
> 
> Leave a comment of what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Feel free to drop a comment of what villain you would like me to do next.


End file.
